No Future

Western Australian mining magnate Gina Rinehart has attached some awe-inspiring lines of self-penned verse to a 30-ton iron ore boulder [via Mefi], which is a waste of a perfectly good boulder, not to mention 171 perfectly good words. I don’t know who’s cringing more, the Australian in me or the occasional poet. If the world hadn’t noticed Rinehart and her staggering wealth before now, it will surely notice her staggering way with rhyme.

This demands a riposte from an Australian with an empire with an estimated value of A$0.0001 billion.

Thank goodness Gina Rinehart cares so much about the poor!
Without her, what would Aussies do with all that undug ore?
Just look at all this magic coal, our wonder underground—
And plenty of uranium, which industry has found
Irradiating national parks, like northern Kakadu;
Let’s dig it up and sell it to all on eBay, PDQ.

Welcome, short-term foreign workers! Come and stay a while.
Wreck your health to bring us wealth, then queue up single-file
For Qantas flights to take you back to places with no future—
I’m sorry, middle-class existence really wouldn’t suit yer.
As for riches, sadly, thanks to government attacks,
It’s difficult to make ends meet because of rampant tax.
Just look at how our Gina strives to earn a bob or two.
No, really, she can barely buy a paper. (Fairfax? Phew!)

Prosperity’s our lucky country’s birthright, people say;
Or if not every Aussie’s, well, it’s Rinehart’s, anyway.
And whether she intended it or not to cause such mirth,
Let’s hope her poem ends up buried deep within the earth.

17 February 2012 · Whatever

Her poem, in case the link goes belly-up:

Our Future

The globe is sadly groaning with debt, poverty and strife
And billions now are pleading to enjoy a better life
Their hope lies with resources buried deep within the earth
And the enterprise and capital which give each project worth
Is our future threatened with massive debts run up by political hacks
Who dig themselves out by unleashing rampant tax
The end result is sending Australian investment, growth and jobs offshore
This type of direction is harmful to our core
Some envious unthinking people have been conned
To think prosperity is created by waving a magic wand
Through such unfortunate ignorance, too much abuse is hurled
Against miners, workers and related industries who strive to build the world
Develop North Australia, embrace multiculturalism and welcome short term foreign workers to our shores
To benefit from the export of our minerals and ores
The world’s poor need our resources: do not leave them to their fate
Our nation needs special economic zones and wiser government, before it is too late

Added by Rory on 17 February 2012.