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My Entry in the Great TiVo Giveaway

(The scene: A big TV set with dramatic music. A familiar face fills the screen.)

Regis: Hello, and welcome back to Who Wants to be a Millionaire! I'm Regis Philbin, and in the chair opposite me is... TiVo! He's going for ONE MILLION dollars, so—Let's Play!

(The music builds.)

Which of the following can you NOT do:

  1. Automatically record every episode of your owner's favorite shows;
  2. Pause live TV for up to 30 minutes;
  3. Suggest shows that match your owner's interests;
  4. Cook a turkey.

(TiVo squirms in his seat. This is big money, and he only has one lifeline left.)

TiVo: Can I phone a friend?

Regis: Sure!

(They ring the nominated number. It rings.)

TiVo: Hello, ReplayTV? I don't actually need any help—I've just called to let you know that I'VE WON A MILLION DOLLARS!

(Sounds of cursing on the other end of the line.)

TiVo: The answer is D!

Regis: Confident?

TiVo: Yes!

Regis: Final answer?

TiVo: Yes! It's D!

Regis: Are you absolutely sure?

TiVo: YES! IT'S D! D! D!!!

Regis: (Pauses... you know, if you had a TiVo you could skim through this pause or anything else on your TV screen.)


(Audience goes wild, and everyone rushes out to buy a TiVo.)

Entered 26 September 2000... and won a TiVo!

Walk Back West