Michael Kelly* has been writing again lately. Best of all, there’s three whole weeks’ worth of it...
If you did work in a place with pneumatic cylinder message tubes it would be really easy to kill your colleagues. You’d just put an explosive device in one, or a cobra or a deadly spider or something, and then send them out to your victims all over the building and no-one would know where it came from....
I have decided I’m not going to go on with planning the systematic murder of my workmates, even as an abstract exercise. I like them and they’re mostly women and I suppose there’s a slight chance one of them might find this and it’s too creepy. Instead, I have decided to set myself the challenge of constructing an elaborate and plausible sex-fantasy about each of them in turn, and will post the results here.
To get the most difficult one out of the way first: Reg the boiler man.
Really, you must read every last entry. Right up to and beyond the bit about toasters. Really.
*The “Roy Orbison in Clingfilm” guy. This is relevant.
**If they published Mil Millington, why not MK?
***These later footnotes don’t actually footnote anything.