I wrote these for the Omnificent English Dictionary in English Form, a magnificent, ambitious, and slightly insane attempt to write a limerick for every word in the English language, one letter group at a time. You can see my additions and revisions there, but I like to keep them here as well; the menu below leads to permanent pages for each letter group. You can also see some co-written pieces, an area especially aimed at OEDILFers, and a page of limerick biographies of famous artists.
Melting sugar, then spinning till airy,
Gives a floss that’s as light as a fairy
And melts on the tongue.
It’s a hit with the young,
Whose devotion to sweetness is scary.
Apparently, Brexit means Brexit:
For Prime Minister May, Britain’s exit
From Europe is certain.
May May end up hurtin’
Our future? I reckon this wrecks it.
For your dinner this Christmas, I’ve heard
That the one that you want is the bird
Like a honking great duck.
Tell you more, you’re in luck—
We have multiples. Geese is the word.
If you’re hopelessly devoted to goose, you’ll already know that geese is the bird’s (word’s) plural, and not a popular Broadway and movie musical set in the 1950s (that would be Grease, featuring the hits “You’re the One That I Want”, “Summer Nights”—tell me more, tell me more—and “Hopelessly Devoted to You”).
GDP rises indicate growth
In a country’s economy—both
Goods’ and services’ value
Combined. So, then, shall you
Work harder, or venerate sloth?
The spies who love snooping on you
Aren’t James Bond—they’re at GCHQ.
If you’re browsing in Britain,
Will kill off their licence to view.
When you’re driving along on the straight
And the lorry you pass has a plate
With the letters GB,
Call out, “God save the Queeeeeee...”
’Cos its driver thinks Britain is great.
Cosy Denmark, of Legoland fame,
Enjoys candlelight’s flickering flame.
Bigger countries may snigger,
But ones this mini figure
That hygge’s the name of the game.
What Denmark lacks in mountains and land area it nowadays makes up for in hygge (HYEUH-guh), loosely translated as “cosiness”, which entails various aspects of the enjoyment of life’s simple pleasures of family, hearth and home. This middle-class concept, first recorded in the 18th century, now features heavily in Danish self-definition and lifestyle. One consequence is that the country consumes more candles per head than any other in the EU.
At the start of the show Breaking Bad,
Walter White’s a kind teacher and dad,
But things really get messy
When he hooks up with Jesse
And New Mexico’s drug lords get mad.
The phenomenal show Game of Thrones,
Full of dragons and sex, swords and bones,
Is a binge-watch worth startin’.
Author George R. R. Martin
Keeps us guessing about its unknowns.